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This is the text of an email that I wrote to my department's listserv on the occasion of a certain famous philosopher's visit to our campus to kick off a new annual lecture series funded by a mysterious AI-affiliated donor (who also funded an endowed chair). I include the name of the philosopher only because I think he is not exceptional in terms of his influences and openness to TESCREAL thought. (A recent graduate of our department also spoke a few years ago at Lighthaven,